I hate it when you have those days of deep thought......

Im coming down from this Headband J. Oh welt
July 16, 6:30p, Work office.
I really cant control my thoughts. I look right, left, forward, behind me,
Idk what to think
TO MANY THINGS GOING THROUGH MY MIND RIGHT NOW.
Keep it real, I want to change.
Im tired of smoking everyday, What If i wanted to become a changed man?
I want to be older, mature, im tired of living in my childhood.
People tell me I do not act my age,
Yet it feels like im still inmature.
Secondly, another thing on my mind is V.
Like WTF!
I know i shouldnt even think of getting in a relationship, like what am i thinking?
BUUUUUT!
Shes something else,
I met her family, that shit was cool.
Had some bomb food. Really got to know her this weekend.
I honestly feel like we had a connection, not just some FWB.
Man, idk. Just so much shit on my mind.
And even here at school, at the one place i can be adult about things,
I cant even be me.
I feel like people take advantage of me,
Use me for water, tree, anything.
Worst part of it all, they just leave,
leaving me to clean all this shit up, like dude, really?
You want to be adult, but cant even clean up for yourself?
SMH!
Idk, today has just been a shitty day. Not feeling good at all.
And their is a fuckin power outage at 1130pm. like what the fuck?
Sigh, idk. I just need to write my feelings out.
All love
- Carlos Santana....

Opening new doors.....

Real Talk, July 10th, Wed, 11:45 pm. BlueBerry Diesel x Casey Diesel.

Music Rules when your high.
I hate it when songs relate to your life.
Dont you think sometimes you tweet things you want dont want people to see but do?
Someway, Somehow, I feel like the past always comes back to bite my ass.
Putting the song:
~Freedom is Everyone's Job - Preservation Feat. Yasiin Bey
then
~Part II(On The Run) - Jay Z Feat Beyonce ... A great fuckin song.....
then
~The rest of Magna Carta. Its pretty sick.
.....
To be honest, Idgaf who reads this.
The reason why I have this, is because their is too many things that go through my mind when I'm high.
And i really dont care, what i say, what i do, cause this is my space.
Sometimes you just need space.
... No homo, but see this as my journal.
I think this can hep me through college, #realtalk
If you can express your emotions through words, then you can control the monster you dont want to become.
*Fun fact, one day, i truly want to be happy, with a family. I want to have a beautiful wife, treat her right, have beautiful children. That relationship like Jay-Z and Beyonce...kinna. But in my own way. I want my queen. One day.
Fuck i sound like im back in middle school. But hey, look, im back here, typing.....guess I knew what i was doing back then.
its 11:52. I have work at 9am tomorrow. Fuck it.
-One love..
-C